Herdwick Droppings can exclusively reveal that Blencathra has been sold to US tycoon Donald 'The Donald' Trump, despite earlier reports suggesting it was purchased by an Indian steel magnate.
Trump is best known for appearing in the US television program, The apprentice, based on the British show, starring Lord Alan Sugar.
Trump is said to envy Sugar's high media profile and wealth and this has driven him to make this purchase "in the finest part of Londonland" said a spokesman.
Trump is believed to be intent on gaining the credibility and respect afforded to Lord Sugar by turning the Cumbrian fell into "a monument of the finest monuments".
The first action is to recreate the Cerne Abbas giant on the eastern slope, visible from the nearby A66 and the western slope will have a 'reverse view' facing the home of Sir Chris Bonnington who actively supported a locals buy-out bid. The Yeti-botherer said the idea was "Cheeky".
Trump also intends to have the 'most prominent part' illuminated at night by flashing lights. In another difference to the original, the outlines won't be in white chalk, but gold painted boulders, protected by a 24 hour armed security team to prevent theft.
The National Park sounded positive. "This is a great opportunity for the Lake District as a whole," said Ranger Hilly Handsome from a gleaming new Landrover Discovery, which he admitted was purchased with the 'help' of Trump.
Friends of the Lake District were unable to comment as they were all on a six months long fact-finding tour of the Caribbean, funded by Trump Ecological Endeavours, a non-profit organisation dedicated to caring for environmental objectors.
can i subscribe???? and i must comment that i do think that painting the rocks gold is just a little bit tacky...
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